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* Mother recounts a vision she had during the night) It was just at four o'clock in the morning, and it woke me up. It was exactly like this ... I was apparently in my bathroom, and I had to open the door between the bathroom and Sri Aurobindo's room; the moment I put my hand on the doorknob, I knew with an absolute certainty that destruction was awaiting me behind the door. It had the form or image of those great invaders of India, those who had swooped down upon India and destroyed everything in their wake ... But it was only an impression. So the door had to be opened and I ... felt and said, 'Lord, may your will be done.' I opened the door and behind it was z2 in the same clothes he wears when he drives, and he was leaning against one of those big tractor tires - or perhaps he was holding it at the same time. I was so dumbfounded that I woke up. It took me a little while to be able to understand what it might mean, and afterwards ... Even now, I still don't know ... What was I? Was I India, or was I the world? ... I don't know. And what did Z represent? ... It was as imperative and clear, as positive and absolute as could be: the certitude that destruction was behind the door, that it was inevitable. And it had the form of those great Tartar or Mongol invaders, those people who came from the North and invaded India, who pillaged everything ... That's what it was like. But what Z was doing there I don't know. What does he represent? ... The first impulse was to tell Abhay Singh, 'Forbid him to drive the tractor.' I. The disciple who managed the Ashram 'Atelier': mechanical workshop, maintenance garage, automobile service, etc. 2. A young disciple who worked in the Atelier.
(Pavitra:) What was he holding in his hands, Mother? Huge tires ... He was standing there, like that, with a very majestic air. He was wearing his white outfit, those long pyjamas ... (Abhay Singh:) Yesterday he drove the station wagon for the visitors. Does it also have large tires? (Pavitra:) A little bigger than jeep tires. No, it came up to here (gesture to the top of the head). It seemed to be a tractor tire, but it did not have the heavy tread that tractor tires have. (Abhay Singh:) There are tractor tires that have no tread. Ah! So ... He was standing, and it came up to here (same gesture). So it must have been a tractor tire. What could it represent, he, and the tractor? ... I don't know ... It was not personal, you see - I mean this body. It had nothing to do with that. (Pavitra:) The industrialization of India? (silence ) I don't know.
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(Concerning two teachers at the Ashram's Center of Education who wrote Mother asking if 'only' Sri Aurobindo should be studied. Pavitra was present during this conversation.) An eight page letter - nothing but passion. (Pavitra:) Yes, Mother. It's all from up here (Mother touches her forehead). (Pavitra:) Passion and reactions. Passion, passion - but this passion and these reactions are the same, thing. And then they stuff into it what they consider intellectual reasonings, but their intellectuality is not so terribly luminous - anyway ... (Mother shows the letter) Here, I'll read this to you for your edification (!).'And finally, Sweet Mother, what I would really like to know is the purpose of our Center of Education. Is it to teach the works of Sri Aurobindo? And only these? All the works or some only? Or is it to prepare the students to read the works of Sri Aurobindo and the Mother? Is it to prepare them for the Ashram life or for 'outside' occupations as well? So many opinions are floating in the air, and even the old disciples from whom we expect some knowledge make so many contradictory statements ... (Laughing, to Pavitra:) I suppose that's for you! 'that we no longer know what to believe nor on what to base ourselves. So what should be our foundation upon which to work in the absence of a true and certain knowledge? Please enlighten us, Mother.' I answered. The letters must have left. I wrote (in English) that it's not so much a question of organization as of attitude - to begin with. Then I said, 'It seems to me that unless the teachers themselves get out of this ordinary intellectuality (!), they will never be able to fulfill their duty.' And this is what I wrote to Z (Mother reads): 'It is not a question of preparing students to read these or some other works. It is a question of drawing all those who are capable of it out of the usual human routine of thought, feelings, action; of giving those who are here every opportunity to reject the slavery of the human way of thinking and acting; of teaching all those who want to listen that there is another, truer way of living, and that Sri Aurobindo taught us to become and to live the true being - and that the purpose of education here is to prepare the children for this life and to make them capable of it. As for all the others, all those who want the human way of thinking and living, the world is vast and there is place there for everyone. We do not want large numbers; we want a selection. We do not want brilliant students; we want living souls.' Once I've drummed that into their heads long enough, they may end up understanding. page 404-405 - Mother's Agenda , volume 1 , 10th Aug. - 1960 |
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(Pavitra hands Mother a new French dictionary, the 'All-in-One ') Oh! French verbs! ...(Pavitra:) Yes, Mother; in this dictionary each verb is shown - the category it is in, how it is conjugated ...The verbs ... ... Take 'choyer' [coddle, pamper], for example ... (Pavitra shows Mother), it's conjugated like 'aboyer' [snarl, bark].What a comparison! (Mother laughs) Oh, they have such psychological subtleties! But it's especially for the spelling of verbs. I believe I know how to conjugate! (Pavitra:) It has everything - how to play bridge, how to play tennis, the art of carving a chicken ...Fine. (Satprem:) 'All-in-One,' it's rather like yoga! ** (After Pavitra leaves) page 407 - Mother's Agenda , volume 1 , 10th Aug. - 1960 |
Pavitra was telling me the other day that, according to the latest scientific discoveries, matter in its present state can be immortal. There's no reason that it couldn't change (for it changes all the time) enough to avoid decay. Nothing in matter's composition stands in the way of its immortality - immortality of form, I mean. If science simply follows its own course (and does not suddenly find itself confronted with something beyond its grasp), there's no reason it should not provide people who don't have a mystical or occult turn of mind with a way to use the present substance in imperishable forms, without recourse to anything from other realms. This is a great support for practical-minded people. page 215 , Mother's Agenda , volume 3 , 20th June 1962 |
The other day, Pavitra said to me in passing, "Modern science would neither follow nor believe us." According to him, scientists acknowledge only "essential hypotheses," and not having the experience, would take our science for a set of "non-essential" hypotheses. I didn't argue, or else I would have told him, "We don't make any hypotheses, far from it, we simply state our experiences." They are free to disbelieve us or to think we're half crazy or hallucinating - that's up to them, it's their business. But we don't make hypotheses, we speak of things we know and have experienced. For several hours afterwards I had a vision of this state of mind and found absolutely no need to make hypotheses (you see, Pavitra was speaking of "hypothesizing" the existence of different states of being). It's just as I told you: I have passed that stage; I don't need inner dimensions any more.[[ See conversation of May 24, 1962. ]] And observing this materialistic state of mind, it occurred to me that, on the basis of their own experiments, they are bound to admit oneness - at least the oneness of matter; and to admit oneness is enough to obtain the key to the whole problem! page 239 , Mother's Agenda , volume 3 , 4th July 1962 |
And Nehru, you see (that's what Pavitra told me yesterday, he went to the town hall to listen to Nehru's speech), Nehru is an out-and-out social democrat who believes that the ideal organization for mankind, instead of only an "elite" being able to progress, is that the entire masses should progress (as if they wanted to! ... but anyway). It's an idea - everyone has his own ideas. But then it seems that when the Chinese attacked, it was a violent blow to his conviction: he thought it impossible that the Chinese would do such a thing (!) He was very deeply shattered. Naturally, they see no farther than the tips of their noses, and then they are surprised when circumstances (laughing) don't agree! But OUTWARDLY, there is nothing that can be done [to act on Nehru and the politicians]. It's only if you are sitting in your armchair, very quiet, that you can do something - provided not too many people are aware that you're doing something (!) So there you are. page 175 - Mother's Agenda , volume 4 , 15th June 1963 |
I had a rather amusing experience while walking [during japa]. I was looking at people's attitude (I mean those who think they lead a spiritual life, who think they have made a surrender), and how they are utterly vexed when things don't happen the way they want! (They don't always admit it, they don't always say it to themselves, but it's a fact.) Then all at once, I saw a huge robot - huge, magnificent, resplendent, covered with gold and jewels - a huge being ... but a robot. And all-powerful - all-powerful, capable of doing anything, anything at all; anything you could imagine, he could do it: you had only to press a button and he did it. And it was ... (laughing) as if the Lord were telling me, "See, here is what I am to them!" I couldn't have recounted the experience just like that, but I made a note of it. He said, "See, this is what I am to them." So I wrote it down. (Mother first reads out the French version of her note) Then I wrote it in English (if there's a "gap" in the Bulletin, I'll put it in!): "The Lord is not an all-powerful automaton that the human beings can move by ... (laughing) the push-button of their will ... It's very funny! ... the push-button of their will - and yet most of those who surrender to God expect that from Him." I read it to Pavitra; he said, "But still, that's rather like the way things work!" He didn't quite understand (Mother laughs).page 184 - Mother's Agenda , volume 4 , 22th June 1963 |
I'll give you the example of what Pavitra told me yesterday: he always used to go out of his body in his aspiration and to rise very high - I told him a hundred times that he shouldn't do it, it wasn't good (for HIM; to another I would have said to do it). He never understood, and every time he meditated, brrt! he would go out of his body. Then the other day he told me, "Ah, now I've understood! I was always seeking Mother up above, till suddenly I couldn't find anything any more. So I concentrated here [in the body], and I found Mother immediately." And he added, "It's because now Mother is here!" (Mother laughs) I didn't explain anything, but that was exactly the point! I didn't tell him anything, but I smiled as though he had made a discovery! People try to come into contact with something that's HERE! page 219 - Mother's Agenda , volume 4 , 10th July , 1963 |
(Sujata:) Why is Pavitra in such poor condition?The doctor predicted he wouldn't be able to move anymore at all, and he climbs the stairs, goes here and there. Only, it's quite an effort. But the doctor said, "He won't be able to move anymore, he will be bed-ridden." So it's already a big achievement. It's an ankylosis of all the muscles.[[In fact, a cancer. ]] (Sujata:) When I see him in the morning, it's terrible. It takes him a long time before he's able to move, and he is in a lot of pain.Yes, it hurts. Oh, he walks about through sheer willpower. I know that. I know, because as a rule you're finished, you can't move anymore. page 334 , Mother's Agenda , volume 6 , 18th Dec - 1965 |
Pavitra has been filing old letters, and ... I told you, didn't I, that since the 24th there was a CONSTANT insistence, every minute, on giving full support to the Harmony and not allowing disorder, disharmony and confusion to manifest - from the physical, vital and mental points of view. Like that, like someone pounding something since the 24th (I told you the other day about the Force that came; it's been like that since then). And yesterday or the day before, Pavitra, while sorting out those letters, came across something I had written to someone in English: "Yes, the good-will hidden in all things reveals itself everywhere to that one who carries good will in his consciousness. This is a constructive way of feeling leading straight to the future." I found this very interesting (it was written years ago, at least more than a year ago, and Pavitra told me he hadn't even found it in a letter: it was loose among the files). And it was as if to tell me, "See, you were already speaking like this before." Because the "goodwill" is the Harmony (on the psychological level, of course), it's the will for everything to go well psychologically. I found this rather interesting. page 127-28 , Mother's Agenda , volume 8 , 3rd May - 1967 |
(About Pavitra's departure. Pavitra was the oldest French disciple; chemist and engineer of the École Polytechnique, he came to the Ashram in December, 1925, after having pursued his quest all the way to Mongolia's lamaseries. [[Pavitra left some very interesting memoirs of his conversations with Sri Aurobindo and Mother in 1925 and 1926, which unfortunately were barbarously mutilated (with whole pages torn away, almost a third of Pavitra's notebooks) by his closest collaborator, under the pretext that it would be "better left unsaid." We shudder to think what would have been the fate of this Agenda had it come into the hands of those same "collaborators." As Mother remarked in Agenda V of October 14, 1964: "They cut out and remove all that bothers them and leave only what suits them." Thus invaluable treasures disappeared. (See Sri Aurobindo, Conversations avec Pavitra, Fayard, 1972.) ]] ) You know that I used to see Pavitra every day, in the evening. He was in a poor state. But I had been forewarned (long ago) that his inner being was waiting for A. [[A. lives in Paris. ]] to return before it would leave. I don't know whether he was aware of something in his outward consciousness, but at any rate he had never said anything. But I knew ... The day A. arrived, that very day [May 131, just before coming here, Pavitra fell down. He came here with quite a few scratches. I thought it would stop there, but the day after A.'s arrival (I don't remember, I never keep a clear memory of dates), at any rate between the 15th and 16th, at night, after 9 (I didn't look at the time, so I don't know precisely, but I was on my bed), Pavitra's whole individualized consciousness (but not in a form), his conscious, fully awakened consciousness, down to all that can come out of the cells, began to come and enter into me according to the ancient, the very old yogic practice of merging into the Supreme in that way that practice. It came while I was lying on my bed; it began, and it was so material that there was a very strong friction in all the cells, everywhere. It went on for three hours. After three hours, it became ... not exactly still, but no longer active. Then, the next morning, I saw A. (it was on the 16 h), I saw A. at about 8:30 (naturally, Pavitra had been in bed since the day before, they had put him to bed), and in the morning, A. told me that just as he was about to come here, Pavitra opened his eyes and looked at him ... So I told him, I don't know, but with a yogic knowledge of the process, quite an extraordinary knowledge" (he had never boasted of having it), "his conscious being melted last night and entered my body, this body ..." [[As a matter of fact, Mother looked quite surprised when A. told her that Pavitra had opened his eyes. ]] I told him, "We'll see." But half an hour later, they told me that just as I was talking with A., the doctor declared he had left. Have you seen him? I am told he looks very good. Oh, Yes!I had first said that he would be buried this morning at 10 o'clock, since the end took place even before the doctors declared it was over, but I had it delayed until 4 .... I can't say he has remained separate [from Mother], not at all, but now and then, for one thing there's his way of reacting; it's quite interesting. And he has brought with him an extraordinary sense of satisfaction! As if, "Ah, at last ..." Like that. It's constant, night and day. I wanted to see last night whether something of him would still come, but it was all over, there was nothing more .... It was done as a super-yogi might do it! He'd never boasted about it, I don't even know whether he actively knew it. He did it wonderfully. You know, the stories that are told of those who would have themselves shut in a cave and who would leave like that - that's it. They didn't exactly pick him up, because he hadn't fallen down, but they found him standing, unable to move. It was after lunch (on the 15th he had his lunch with A.), and immediately after lunch, he asked A. to leave, [[Because he did not want to show A. the difficulty he had moving. ]] and wanted to go to his terrace - it took him an hour to go there! It's while coming back from there that he remained like that, standing - he nearly fell down, so they had to carry him to his bed (that was in the afternoon of the 15th), and during the night he did that. So then, I had said he would be buried this morning, that is on the 17th, then A. came and told me he was quite intact, not stiff (he went to see him with N., who's a doctor, and N. said that was because Pavitra was so thin), so I said we might as well wait till this afternoon. It has been postponed till 4 o'clock. But as for me, last night I saw carefully: there's nothing. [[No more consciousness left in the body. ]] Even if there is something, a little consciousness left, it's better to let it go peacefully. But I wasn't expecting it, I didn't think about it, didn't even know that he knew how to go out like that-it must have been something deep down in him that knew. I didn't even know he knew how to do it. Because the evening before Pavitra left, A. told me what had happened at lunch time, and I told him, "Generally, I don't see Pavitra [at night], it's very rare, very rare, it happens quite accidentally, and it's more symbolic visions than ..." I said to him, I don't see him, I don't know, but this night (of the 15 th, that is) I'll inquire to see what it is, in what state he is, and see if he goes out of his body or comes to me ...." There was nothing in a form, nothing. And some time after I'd lain down, it started coming, but then with an extraordinary SCIENCE of the process! And for THREE hours without stop, continuously, in the most steady manner, like that: an action. After three hours, it was as it is now; I felt as if he said, "Now it's over." Only, you never know, of course: there might be some consciousness lingering in the body ... I thought it was better to wait till this afternoon, not to shut him up with something in his body. It has brought to the body consciousness a sort of sense of satisfaction: the appeasement that satisfaction gives. That's there quite concretely. Did he know it from a previous life, or ...? I don't know. Or else, he just didn't talk about it. Because the way he spoke, he didn't seem to know the secrets of yogic processes. [[We are convinced that Pavitra had learned many things in Mongolia's lamaseries, where a highly advanced occult science was practiced. ]] It was done with a rare perfection .... Three hours without stop, without flagging - three hours - continuous, continuous. Naturally, I was lying on my bed .... page 181 , Mother's Agenda , volume 10 , 17th May - 1969 |
But Pavitra's case, I really believe it's exceptional. It's the first time it has happened to me - with nobody, nobody else before. I told you, when Sri Aurobindo left, for hours he passed on to me the whole supramental force and consciousness he had concentrated in his body. It was immediately after he left. I felt he had called me; I stood there, near his bed, looking at him, and ... I saw it, you understand: he passed on to me the force, the whole supramental force he had concentrated in his body, and I felt him everywhere enter like that, with a friction. It lasted for hours. But that's quite an exceptional case, as I told you. But what took place with Pavitra is really ... it's really ... It's not the same thing: he simply came out of his body deliberately (and not his psychic being: it was as material as he could), and I felt him, felt it enter and enter everywhere, all over my body ... And now, if I look within, I can't say I see a form, but ... it's not completely fused. And for certain things - certain things that have to do with people, or the School [[ Pavitra was the School's director and the Ashram's general secretary. ]] - there's a very clear personal reaction. And then, those photos ... I think that's quite exceptional. I felt something in the brain. You know that since Sri Aurobindo gave me mental silence, it has been absolutely still; it never started up again as before, and the consciousness has been there (gesture above Mother), working from there. But then after Pavitra came here, something (gesture to the forehead) impelled me to ask (I asked what's here, within), "Could I get the mathematical knowledge you had?" I asked him that. And his answer was, "Of course, it would be easy if you set this in motion again!" But that I don't want to do. Anyway ... Anyway, that's how it is, as if I were talking to someone within! How happy he was! I think he loved you very much. He never spoke a word about all that. It has pleased him a lot. page 190-91 , Mother's Agenda , volume 10 , 21st May - 1969 |
Does anyone see Pavitra at night? (Sujata:) I see him almost every night.Oh, you see him.... Me, I see him just as when he was here; and he's busy doing things - a totally conscious and active life. Last night, he was speaking to some people, organizing meetings, he was extraordinarily active. Besides, he was among people who still have a physical body, who were sleeping, I mean who had come out of their body. He was so conscious! I've never seen anyone so ... so materially conscious, I could say. Exactly as if he were continuing his work. Mainly seeing people, talking to them, bringing them together.... You know that when he died, at the time of his death, he entered me?... [[See Agenda X, May 17, 1969. ]] I did my best to prevent him from blending [with Mother]: I kept him like this (gesture as an individual form). And after he recovered from the shock, he spontaneously came out and started to work. I see him almost every night. I've never seen anyone remain so much like himself. It's truly remarkable. page 268 , Mother's Agenda , volume 13 , 12th Aug - 1972-1973 |